MS & I

Monday, April 19, 2010

Why me...

I feel that I have been so good not to say “why me?” I always thought that the worst thing in life had already happened to me when I lost my brother. I always thought nothing else bad in life can happen to me. I ran into a friend on my birthday he asked what had been going on, when I explained to him that I had been diagnosed with MS the first thing he said is “that isn’t fair to have two things so horrible happen in a row.”
Had another appointment with my MS specialist and everything seems to be on track. She says there is definite room for improvement but walking well… Then comes more bad news. A few weeks back I had a TON of blood work done to make sure everything else is ok. My vitamin D levels came back low (which is common for MS patients), and some how it is possible that I have Rheumatoid Arthritis (A chronic and progressive disease in which the immune system attacks the joints. It is characterized by pain, inflammation and swelling of the joints, stiffness, weakness, loss of mobility and deformity.) I have always said from day one I have never had any pain. I knock on wood every time I say that. Luckily my doctor believes this is a fluke. I have never had any of the symptoms that characterize Rheumatoid (knock on wood). Good news… Had another doctor’s appointment with a neurologist. I did testing for about five hours. This was all to see if the MS lesions had affected my brain in any way. We did memory test, spelling and arithmetic test and more. Fortunately they have had no affect on my brain in any way, I am good to return to school this May. I always said “I rather have my brain than my legs.” So I am HAPPY. If we see adversity wisely, our toughest times can be filled with immense growth, which leads to happiness. I try to keep this in my mind at all times. I cant keep thinking why me or I will continue to progress in my MS. I will have my good and bad days but I have people in my life that will prevent me from saying why me. And because I have lost my brother I know that he is watching over me, I have my own personal guardian angle.

Jr. Prom...Trevor, Denver, and me

1 comment:

  1. hey sam, i just wanted to say thanks for reminding me how lucky i am. it's easy to get in the mind set that i have it so hard, and life is unfair. but i'm lucky to have my health and i can't imagine what you're going thru. you are so positive and brave and i think you are amazing!